This Is My Truth

I can’t talk about who I am or self-love without speaking of my faith, my set of beliefs, my truth. My truth may be different from yours. I do not wish to impose my truth on you. I can only tell you what has been found true from my own experience. I realized rather than hiding behind the fear of being judged for my beliefs, it is better to stand tall and alone with my truth than being surrounded by others as an inauthentic version of me.  

So who am I? I am an expression of God's love. I know love because he loved me first. I believe he is the giver of every good gift and every perfect present. That perfect present he gave me is what I try to meditate on daily. That perfect present is what gives me value and worth and what makes me enough each day I wake up. I have the ability to reflect the quality that he is, love. When I focus on his approval and his unchanging loyalty to me, then no matter what, I have what I need. I have an abundance. I have no lack. I have enough loyal love, enough mercy, enough compassion, enough strength, enough wisdom. 

That being said although these truths are the rock solid foundation of my value and worth. It takes daily practice with each day, event and season to remind myself of who I am. To not get caught up in other's opinions of me. It is not only remembering where my value and worth lies. It is also treating myself the way he does. He is my best example of love and so is his son, who is his perfect reflection. He is reasonable, humble, merciful, compassionate. All the things I want to cultivate and imitate. Each day I have an opportunity to practice imitating his qualities in how I deal with myself. 

Sadly, it can be so easy for me to believe the lie that my value was tied to what I DO for others, or my worth was tied to how others feel about me. The thing is, how others feel change with the wind. They like you one minute and hate you the next. What I have come to learn is that another’s opinion of me most of the time, is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. We are all mirrors for one another. There maybe something in me that you wish you had or something in me that reminds you of something that you hate about yourself. 

These are things I must remember when others treat me less than loving. They are projecting their lack of self-love upon me. I use to stay in the victim mentality thinking that I was helpless to taking on others evaluation of me, but I have realized that I have the power to have insight and see that when someone acts unloving it is not about me. I do not have to take what they say as my truth. That was my downfall, taking on other’s lack of self-love as my truth.

The Bible has taught me that God’s thoughts and ways are higher than anyone. So why would I take the less than best evaluation of myself? Why not take on the approval of the highest seal? That doesn’t mean that what another thinks is wrong. It’s a matter of basing my worth and value on a one-time judgment of someone with a limited view of me. Another human being only knows me in a limited way, through one experience or a sum of experiences, but God knows me from my conception, all of me all of my experiences, the good the bad and the ugly. His view is realistic not removing the undesirable but choosing to focus on the precious and good. When I look at myself through his eyes how can I not love myself? How can I not know who I am? 

No season more than becoming a mother has provided me with the best way to learn how my heavenly Father loves me. Through the relationship between my son and I, I now understand unconditional love that NEVER fails. I continue to look forward to the lessons that this season will teach me and I am thankful for the gift that i has given me. The gift of unfailing love.