Motherhood-my life long season of learning

Motherhood is my lifelong season FULL of opportunities for growth and lessons. Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant my life has never been the same. I am learning and practicing acceptance. Learning to not compare my stamina, energy levels, strength everything about who I was before to who I am right now. Every individual changes. We all are not the same person with each day. I will be married this coming August 11 years to my loving husband. Marriage was a huge adjustment also but not as deep and intense of a change as becoming a mother. 

Becoming a mother shook my foundation of who I think I am. I had goals before being a mom that I wanted to achieve, qualities I wanted to cultivate or was “working on”. In no way am I saying that now that I am a mom that I have arrived and achieved it all. Not even close. I will say that becoming a mom lit a fire underneath me like I have never experienced. The drive to become the best version of me because another life depends on it. Talk about motivation! I know the saying goes, the best teacher is example. My son will pay more attention to what I do than what I say. Talk about pressure!

So to say I experienced Prenatal Anxiety is an understatement. I heard about postpartum depression but no one told me it can happen while your pregnant. I already suffered from anxiety and depression before becoming pregnant and also having fibromyalgia. Those “Invisible Illnesses” as they are called, were the reasons I did not choose to have a child, although I love children. 

As it happened though I did become pregnant and although not planned, becoming a mom has become my greatest teacher of self-love. Being a mom is my self-love inspiration. To experience a love like I have never experienced before. Not planning to have a child and being more scared then I ever have been but when I saw that stick that said I was carrying another life. I can’t describe the switch that came on in me after the shock wore off. A switch that said what do I need to do to make sure this life is protected and nurtured. That love I felt as he grew inside of me…

I don’t know how I could think I would run out of things to write. Everyday being a mom provides much fuel for things to write about. So here is to the lifelong season of motherhood.