The Struggle is Human

Creating content while in flareup is not easy.

I’m sure you’ve heard that when you fail to plan you plan to fail. I realize that not only did I not plan a cushion of time to recharge to AVOID a flare-up but I also did not have content completed and ready to be published for when my flareups occur so I can still show up and be able to “rest in peace”.

But I’m here to show you reality and not just “ideals” and that I am human. I mentioned on my Instagram today that the struggle can be reel. Sometimes you feel done. I could have had all my ducks in a row and had content ready to be published but something else I did not have in me was to engage.

I felt shame about that. One of the awesome things about creating content is the community of people with who your content resonates. The ones who tell you that your words helped them to feel seen heard and validated. That is so rewarding. But real talk I did not feel like engaging or responding to comments, or emails, or what to say. I felt like a turtle and I wanted to go into my shell for a while and I did.

I felt shame because I had just done the blog challenge and was blogging regularly and saw growth and did not want to kill my momentum but yet again my flareups are such humbling moments. Whether I wanted to or not it was not happening I was on my back in my bed until the storm passed. 

Has it passed completely? No. But it has lifted enough for me to peek my head out. I was under the impression that because I was doing work online and not in person that I had way more capacity to not feel drained as I would if I was around others in person. I feel I am an ambivert. When I am around others I give ALL the energy so much so that I get drained so easily and then have to retreat to recharge. 

I thought with online comments or emails it would not take out as much for me and if that is all I was doing maybe not. I was so wrong. I reached a point that I did not want to think about what to say. I was in a survival mode of trying to get through this storm of a flare-up. A flareup that took turns on what was ailing me each day. Being in the bed may be “physical rest” but I still felt so depleted. 

It gave me time to reflect though on how much I wasn’t doing things to fill myself up and also not enough boundaries so that I can fit these energy fillers in my life regularly. In my next post, I will talk about what I have been trying to do to bring up my energy until then if you are a content creator who is going through flare up and can’t show up it’s ok to allow space for being human. In the meantime check out my new podcast episode to find out why it’s ok to not be ok.

Grieving with chronic illness comes and goes. In this podcast I talk about how hard it is to accept the lows and relapses. If you are in a season of your life where you are finding it hard to deal with change or it's taking a toll on you emotionally, I hope you find comfort in this episode.

As Brene Brown says “the last thing we need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human”. Let that bring you comfort today. Remember love is the best foundation for growth so bring love and compassion to each change you face.