Are You Making These 3 Mistakes When You Rest During a Flare-Up?

I have a confession to make. Even though I know the benefits of rest and tell others that rest is productive I still feel shame that I need MORE rest than the average person.

Mistake 1.Shaming Ourselves

It’s not hard to sit myself down when I am in pain or exhausted. But, even though I am physically still, do you know what doesn’t stop? My brain.

Thoughts that come up are:

“I was doing so good and now I am not.”

“I am so far behind, I will never catch up.”

“something is wrong with me because I need more rest than someone else.”

Can you relate? I have learned throughout the years that even though I may be conserving my physical energy with rest I was not conserving my mental and emotional energy with the thoughts I was thinking or the shame I felt because I could not do what I set out to.

It’s easy to forget how my thoughts have an impact on my body’s pain and energy levels. I appreciate this quote from Brene Brown, she reminds me that on top of not feeling well I don’t need to sandwich shame on top of that. It makes a flare-up more intense and getting back up harder.

Mistake 2. Sandwiching Shame with JudgmentDid you just judge yourself up because you realize you shame yourself? First of all, you're not alone. I have made this mistake too. Instead of sandwich judgment on top of shame, allow space for being human. “When we know better we do better.” like Maya Angelou says right? When we realize shaming ourselves does not serve us, especially during a flare-up, we can then use that energy to do at least 1% better at being more loving to ourselves in times of flare-up.

Mistake 3. Basing your value on what you can do.

I continue to work on this one. Defining your value based on what you do is all good when you're feeling great but when you are in flareup what you do can be dramatically different.

Have you heard of working on “BEING” rather than “DOING”? I have and I did not understand what that meant until I had my son four years ago. When that boy was born I loved him just because he existed. When he slept or smiled he gave me such joy.

So you may not be able to do all that you could before your flareup but that’s ok. You are allowed a moment and you can use that time to think of all that you HAVE accomplished and how that is enough.

Motherhood has been on the job training in how to treat me with love. I see how I show up for my son and I see that it’s in me to be understanding, loving, and compassionate.

I am here to remind you mama that you have it in you to show up for yourself in times of flareup the same way you do for your precious child you love.

REMEMBER THIS

So if you have found yourself at your lowest not able to get out of bed, and you have shamed, judged, and defined yourself by what you do, Remember this:

You are not alone.

You are human

You can do better by choosing more loving thoughts to preserve your mental energy.

You are not defined by your limitations.

You are defined by your strength to keep going day in and day out not giving up.

Aim to replace ONE thought of shame and judgment with a loving thought.

You got this beautiful butterfly. Love is the best motivator for growth and change. Keep transforming inside and out with love and compassion. 🦋