Back To My Roots Part I
This is part one of many posts that I will write documenting how my natural hair journey and transitioning to gray hair have helped me develop self- love.
Cutting off all my chemically processed hair was the start of my journey back to me. That was seven years ago. That decision was one of the first that required courage like I have never known. What prompted this decision? I had become frustrated with getting my hair chemically processed every six weeks only to sweat it out in less time. If it were not for YouTube I would not have taken the plunge. I started to see videos about people making a transition back to their “roots”. I was intrigued by the idea of not having to go to the salon every month and spend half of my day getting a chemical process or getting my scalp burned because I scratched my scalp prior to a touchup.
There were two options for me to go “natural”. I could transition and let my chemically processed hair grow out or I could do a “big chop” and just start fresh. I was little chicken at first because I was overweight and had a big round face, so I said let’s try transition. It started off ok but then I decided to get half of my hair cut so I could see how my hair grew in and still have hair on the top of my head. I went on vacation with my husband and went in the ocean and my hair was a hot mess. The two textures were definitely fighting each other. The part that was cut off got me excited cause it curled up. I decided when I got back from vacation that I was going to take the plunge and cut it all off and start fresh. As my hair stylist cut off my hair I could see my father’s face in the mirror. I was like OMG! I had less hair then my husband did on his head. I am so thankful although short hair was not his ideal that he was supportive of my decision.
One of the biggest fears of doing the “big chop” is looking masculine. Yet again YouTube was such an amazing resource to see others who were at different stages of going natural. I was thankful for YouTubers like Mahoghany Curls and Naptural85 to name a few, who guided me through not only haircare but ideas on how to look more feminine with such short hair. I learned also through video tutorials how to do makeup, which definitely helped me to add some feminine touches. Cutting off all my hair and going back to my roots taught me so many lessons and truly was one of the beginning stages of loving me. Who would think you need courage to go do something that is natural? Yet the popular standard of beauty is long and straight hair. That popular standard is being broken.
Who doesn’t want to feel and look attractive. I learned that long and straight was not the only standard. I love Coco Chanel’s quote that “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” I faced my fears of other’s opinions and judgment of my decision. I faced the insecurity I felt when comparing myself to others. I know I have been guilty of making one of the most frequent comments I heard from others that “Oh you have a face to pull that off.” Believe me I did not think my big round face could pull off an inch of hair, but I did it. I made it through to see and appreciate my little curls and texture and also to understand that what I put in my hair and scalp affect health of my hair. That started a journey to being more “natural” in all areas of my life and the transition to gray.
